What am I Learning?
I talked to mom the other day and while she was trying to convince me to resume posting, and while I was whining that I hardly do anything of interest besides work (which I don't feel comfortable posting about), she gave me an idea of what to talk about: What I am learning.
That's a good one because if there is one thing I'm trying to do right now, it is LEARN and grow.
I'm trying to learn how to talk charismatically without letting my voice get high pitched and preachy.
I'm learning that telling other people that you're good at something just doesn't quite work the same as when they can see it for themselves.
I am learning to balance my work and my personal life by making strict cut-off times during the day. No work before a certain time. And no work once I get home in the evening. (So far so good).
I am trying to learn how to use the time I am home--and not working--effectively or in a fun way.
Right now I'm reading "Good to Great" which is a great book, but it does make me think a lot about work.
Mark and I were watching the third season of The Wire (from Netflix) each night, but that just ran out. Now we're watching Battle Star Galactica. I love this time together, but it does seem to have me in a regular routine on the couch each night.
Every Sunday I still work the farmer's market. I'm not sure how much longer that will be though. I like this, too, and I'm very glad it gets me out of the house, but it is kind of hard to have half of every Sunday already committed to something (Not to mention that it usually leaves me napping for the rest of the day, since we have to get up so early).
It's getting dark at about 5:30 now and it just makes me want to curl up and rest.
Whine...whine...whine...
In other news, we had about 10 tricker treaters last night. Most of whom were dressed in plain clothes or promiscuous clothes (maybe that was the same thing?), most of whom were too old to trick-or-treat, most of whom were hooping and hollering and yelling at the few little kids that were with them, and of whom would shove at least two plastic grocery bags in my face (pressing uncomfortably toward me) saying curtly, "For me," "and my cousin." Right...
Whatever people. Here just take the candy.
I don't like Trick or Treating. Not here in Baltimore. Why can't I have cute little kids like Ellen and Isaiah come to my door?
That's the other thing...when I am trying to get control of a crowd, whether they are pressing at my door for candy, or just not listening while I have the floor in a class: I raise my voice to be heard and if they still don't listen, I raise my voice again and sometimes even a third time, and I end up sounding really desperate--b/c my raised voice gets kind of high. I don't like that. I wish I didn't get worked up. And I wish my voice had the calm sound of authority.
Spending so much time talking with people, talking in front of people, and being counted on to "reach" people...man, that can wear a kid out. Sure makes me aware of all most converstational short-comings.
Mark laughs at me because last week I came home celebrating how people were just coming right to me with questions and asking for advice. That felt good. But this week, so far (after day 2) I feel like I'm having to force myself on people, in an effort to avoid feeling like I might not be doing my job--might not be making a difference where a difference clearly needs to be made.
Well, that felt nice to vent. Sorry to sound so negative on my first post in a long time. It doesn't really sound like I'm actually "learning" much at all. But at least I've been able to point out and focus on the things I want to learn. :)
That's a good one because if there is one thing I'm trying to do right now, it is LEARN and grow.
I'm trying to learn how to talk charismatically without letting my voice get high pitched and preachy.
I'm learning that telling other people that you're good at something just doesn't quite work the same as when they can see it for themselves.
I am learning to balance my work and my personal life by making strict cut-off times during the day. No work before a certain time. And no work once I get home in the evening. (So far so good).
I am trying to learn how to use the time I am home--and not working--effectively or in a fun way.
Right now I'm reading "Good to Great" which is a great book, but it does make me think a lot about work.
Mark and I were watching the third season of The Wire (from Netflix) each night, but that just ran out. Now we're watching Battle Star Galactica. I love this time together, but it does seem to have me in a regular routine on the couch each night.
Every Sunday I still work the farmer's market. I'm not sure how much longer that will be though. I like this, too, and I'm very glad it gets me out of the house, but it is kind of hard to have half of every Sunday already committed to something (Not to mention that it usually leaves me napping for the rest of the day, since we have to get up so early).
It's getting dark at about 5:30 now and it just makes me want to curl up and rest.
Whine...whine...whine...
In other news, we had about 10 tricker treaters last night. Most of whom were dressed in plain clothes or promiscuous clothes (maybe that was the same thing?), most of whom were too old to trick-or-treat, most of whom were hooping and hollering and yelling at the few little kids that were with them, and of whom would shove at least two plastic grocery bags in my face (pressing uncomfortably toward me) saying curtly, "For me," "and my cousin." Right...
Whatever people. Here just take the candy.
I don't like Trick or Treating. Not here in Baltimore. Why can't I have cute little kids like Ellen and Isaiah come to my door?
That's the other thing...when I am trying to get control of a crowd, whether they are pressing at my door for candy, or just not listening while I have the floor in a class: I raise my voice to be heard and if they still don't listen, I raise my voice again and sometimes even a third time, and I end up sounding really desperate--b/c my raised voice gets kind of high. I don't like that. I wish I didn't get worked up. And I wish my voice had the calm sound of authority.
Spending so much time talking with people, talking in front of people, and being counted on to "reach" people...man, that can wear a kid out. Sure makes me aware of all most converstational short-comings.
Mark laughs at me because last week I came home celebrating how people were just coming right to me with questions and asking for advice. That felt good. But this week, so far (after day 2) I feel like I'm having to force myself on people, in an effort to avoid feeling like I might not be doing my job--might not be making a difference where a difference clearly needs to be made.
Well, that felt nice to vent. Sorry to sound so negative on my first post in a long time. It doesn't really sound like I'm actually "learning" much at all. But at least I've been able to point out and focus on the things I want to learn. :)
posted by anne | 5:10 AM
3 Comments:
that IS learning - you have to be aware of it before you can change it right? sounds like a really challenging/gonna learn a lot of great/helpful things time. and hard.
and i hear you on the trick or treat thing. I'm kinda glad that one - we get to go out with our little kids and two that we live on the sort of the street that no one comes to anyway.
i know!! next halloween you can come visit us!
oh and dave really liked good to great also. mom's got everyone reading it. :)
Yay Anne! I missed you! I like when you write in your blog.
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